Resilience Archives - Bunny Bear

How to Stop Taking On Other People’s Problems (#you_problem)

zeus dalios — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 06:05:56 +0000

The siren goes off. A whole swarm of problems races across the screen. Kev pops up, looks around, checks every one of them, and lies back down. Phew… not a me problem.

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thatBB dictionary

#you_problem

(noun)

A problem that is loud, urgent, and not yours. Worth one look. Not worth getting up for.

Why we take on other people’s problems

Problems are loud, and loud feels urgent. A coworker’s crisis, a friend’s drama, a group chat on fire: it all arrives like a siren, and the reflex is to jump up and carry it. But most of what races past was never ours to carry. Taking it on doesn’t solve it. It just makes two tired people instead of one.

What would a stoic do?

Some things are under our control, while others are not under our control.
Epictetus, Enchiridion 1 (trans. W. A. Oldfather)

Epictetus put this line first in his handbook, and everything else follows from it. Notice what Kev does, though: he gets up and looks. That’s the stoic part. You check, honestly, whether it’s yours. If it is, you own it. If it isn’t, you can be kind about it and still lie back down.

Try this: three moves when the siren goes off

Pop up and look. Don’t ignore it and don’t grab it. Take one honest look at what is actually happening.
Ask: is any of this mine? Your choices, your words, your part. That’s yours. Their feelings, their deadline, their mess is theirs.
Help without carrying. Offer an ear or a hand if you want to. Then hand it back, and lie back down.

For whoever is holding three problems that aren’t theirs right now: you’re allowed to put them down. meow meow, kev

The post How to Stop Taking On Other People’s Problems (#you_problem) appeared first on Bunny Bear.

How to Stop Overreacting to Small Things: Man vs Mosquito (Final Boss)

zeus dalios — Thu, 01 Oct 2026 16:58:05 +0000

Man vs mosquito. Kev slapped at it once and missed. He slapped again, harder, and knocked himself flat. The mosquito kept flying. Mosquito: 1, Kevin: 0.

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thatBB dictionary

final boss

(noun)

The last and hardest opponent in the game. Sometimes it’s a mosquito. Sometimes it’s you, swinging at the mosquito.

Why we overreact to small things

A mosquito can’t knock anyone over. It buzzes, it maybe bites, and the itch is gone by tomorrow. The damage in this story came from the swing, not the bite. That’s how overreacting works: a small annoyance shows up, we treat it like a threat, and the reaction costs more than the thing ever could. Most bites are more annoying than consequential.

What would a stoic do?

Consider how much more pain is brought on us by the anger and vexation caused by such acts than by the acts themselves, at which we are angry and vexed.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 11.18 (trans. George Long)

Marcus wrote this as a reminder to himself, about people who annoyed him. It works just as well for bugs, traffic and a slow reply. The thing happens once. The anger keeps happening, for as long as we keep it going. Sometimes you make yourself the final enemy.

Try this: three moves before the second slap

Notice the wind-up. The second slap is always harder than the first. When you feel yourself winding up, that’s the moment to pause.
Ask what it actually costs. A bite, an itch, a few minutes. Compare that with what the swing would cost you.
Find the ridiculous part. Hone in on the ridiculousness of it all. A grown bear vs a bug is funny. Laugh yourself back to your feet, and do better next time.

For whoever just lost a round to something the size of a grain of rice: you’re still in the game. meow meow, kev

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Marcus Aurelius on Getting Out of Bed: An Emperor’s Pep Talk (Hype Note)

zeus dalios — Sun, 27 Sep 2026 21:40:07 +0000

Marcus Aurelius ran the Roman Empire and still had trouble getting out of bed. His fix was a hype note: a few lines to himself that survive as Meditations 5.1. The reel is our paraphrase. The real note is below.

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thatBB dictionary

hype note

(noun)

A pep talk you write yourself before the day starts. An emperor needed one. You’re allowed one too.

Why getting out of bed is hard, even for an emperor

The most powerful man alive had every reason to get up: an empire, wars on the frontier, a schedule nobody else could run. He still argued with his blanket, and he wrote the argument down. That’s the part people skip. Struggling to start isn’t proof you’re lazy or failing. It’s the first rep of the day, and everyone has to do it. Emperors included.

What would a stoic do?

At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?’
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.1 (trans. Gregory Hays)

Notice what’s missing. No "rise and grind." No productivity. He gets up to do the work of a human being: his job, and his part in everyone else’s day. Warm blankets are nice. They’re just not what you’re for. The note doesn’t scold him. It reminds him why.

Try this: write your own hype note

Write it the night before. One or two lines on paper by your bed. Half-asleep you reads it, so keep it short.
Make it about why, not what. Skip the to-do list. Name who or what you’re getting up for: a person, a craft, a promise.
Let it be a little ridiculous. Rhyme it if you want. A note that makes you smile gets read.

For whoever’s still under the covers: you’re in good company. meow meow, kev

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Staying Positive When Things Go Wrong: Stoic Optimism Isn’t Expecting Clear Skies

zeus dalios — Sat, 26 Sep 2026 01:45:17 +0000

A gust bends Kev’s flower flat. The second the wind drops, it snaps back. That’s the whole idea behind stoic optimism, and it beats waiting for clear skies as a way of staying positive when things go wrong.

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thatBB dictionary

stoic optimism

(noun)

Not expecting clear skies. Snapping back to attention when the storm passes.

Why staying positive feels impossible when things go wrong

Most advice treats optimism like a forecast: believe it will work out and you’ll feel better. Then the forecast is wrong, and the optimism goes with it. When a bad week hits, pretending the weather is fine just adds a second job. Stoic optimism starts from the other end. It expects wind. It just doesn’t expect to stay bent.

What would a stoic do?

Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.49 (trans. George Long)

Marcus wasn’t asking for calm seas. He was describing what stays put while the sea does whatever it does. The wind was never yours to control; the snapping back is. Bent isn’t broken. It just means the roots held.

Try this: 3 steps for the next storm

Let it bend you. Don’t argue with the gust. A rough day is allowed to feel rough.
Find the roots. Name one thing that’s still true: your people, your skills, your next meal. That’s what holds.
Snap back to one small thing. The second the wind drops, do the next useful task. Attention first; the mood follows.

For whoever’s still standing after this week. meow meow, kev

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How to Bounce Back After Failure (Am I Resting or Did I Just Fall?)

bunny bear — Mon, 21 Sep 2026 06:13:46 +0000

Kev is flat on his back, staring at the sky. Am I resting, or did I just fall? His enemies can’t tell either. Here’s how to bounce back after failure while you keep those clown biscuits guessing.

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field guide

clown biscuits

(noun, plural)

The doubters waiting to see if you stay down. Keep them guessing.

Why failure knocks the wind out of you

Failure hurts twice: once when it happens, and again when you picture everyone watching. The second part is usually worse, and it’s mostly made up. Most people are busy with their own falls. Getting back up is less about a comeback speech and more about quietly standing up again.

What would a stoic do?

When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self-control.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6.11

Marcus didn’t say never fall. He said recover quickly. Composure is a skill: you get to decide what the fall looks like on the way up.

Try this: 3 steps back to vertical

Take a horizontal minute. Rest is allowed; just put a timer on it.
Pick the next small move. Not the comeback. Only the next step.
Keep the stumble to yourself, if you like. You don’t owe anyone a play-by-play. Let the results talk.

Send this to whoever’s having a horizontal week. meow meow, kev

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