Food and gifts are a symbol of good will and expression of selflessness. Trying to meet someone new? Try gifting; don’t forget it has to be a selfless gift they like, not something YOU would want.
Why food and gifts are not petty or bribery if you do it right:
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Symbols of goodwill, not indulgence.
A Stoic wouldn’t see a shared meal or a gift as inherently good or bad — those are “indifferents.” What matters is how and why they’re given. A meal shared in kindness symbolizes goodwill and mutual respect. The act, not the object, nurtures friendship.
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Expression your virtue.
Offering food or a gift is a practical demonstration of one’s character. They will easily see if you are considerate, a good listener, or is just going through the motions because you are actually selfish.
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Friendship as mutual moral improvement.
As Seneca wrote, “One who seeks friendship for utility will never have a friend.” Food and gifts aren’t to buy affection, but to open a space for mutual goodwill. Ocean’s 12 once said “‘nough said.”
